I am so depressed and need help

Hi everyone.  I had my original surgery Feb 09.  I only lost about 20 pounds or so.  I did not eat what I should have plus there was alot going on in my family and there was a ton of stress put on my shoulders.  I basically turned to junk food as soon as I was able to eat foods.  then I was throwing up every time I would eat.  I found out I had a hernia.  My surgeon fixed my hernia and revised my band. That was June 2010. when I went for my check up and first fill, my surgeon told me he was leaving that practice and going else where.  it was the best thing he could do for his family so I cannot be mad at him but the other surgeon that is there, I do not like.  Twice he missed my port.  I have not been back since.  I have fibromyalgia and other health things going on so it is really hard for me to exercise or even take walks.  It is very painful.  I weigh the most I have ever weighed in my life.I even tried weigh****chers.  I am addicted to junk food.  I do not know what to do.  I hate myself for it.  I really do need help. thanks for listening to me vent.  

Doreen

Doreen,

I am so sorry you are going through this!! Sounds like you have an awful lot going on!

First of all, you need to know that you are not alone! Most(if not all) of us are food addicts, which led us to have WLS in the first place. The surgeons can only fix your stomach, not your head!! When I went for my consultation I thought that lapband would be what I needed to get. After meeting with my surgeon, she said that RNY was the better way to go since I was pushing 400 lbs! It has been almost three years from my surgeon and I have regained about 20 lbs since my lowest weight. Do I beat myself up about it? YES! But then I remind myself that I have kept off most of the weight I have lost.

A couple of suggestions...1. switch doctors, sounds like the one you have now is not a good fit for you. 2. think about RNY, yes it is more invasive, but you will lose weight faster. I have NO regrets about having RNY. I am SO glad that I listened to my surgeon! 3. talk to a professional. I see a therapist on a regular basis, have been since before my surgery. If you need the name of a good one that deals with food addiction/ WLS patients I can give you the number of my therapist.

I am glad that you posted on here. It is a great place to get information, support, and understanding....

I hope I helped in some small way!

((HUGS))
Beth

 Thank You!  My surgeon was awesome but he did have to transfer else where so I am seeing someone new.  I am hoping he can help me more.  I always beat myself up.  My husband always tell me he is going to help me and then he brings stuff home for me.  He wants to try to cheer me up and he knows it is the wrong thing to do but...... you know the rest.
I really do not want to have RYN because my daughter had it and almost died.  The doctor made a mistake.  It is a long story.  I also do go to a psychiatrist but it is not for weight loss.  It is for everything that I am going thru.  My Psych doctor is about 400 lbs and she could really care less about her weight and is as happy as a clam.  I told her about the lapband and she supports it and tells me to move more and exercise.  My fibromyalgia doctor told me there is nothing they can do for fubromyalgia except meds for pain and that is not 100%.  I am told to walk, do as much as I can. work thru the pain.  the more I do, the less pain I may have.  I just cannot do much.  Is it an excuse? No clue!!!
I appreciate all you have told me and will keep it all in mind.  I see the new surgeon on Tuesday so I am hoping he can get in my head and tell me something.

thanks again,
Doreen

Doreen I would encourage you to go see a therapist. I think you will get more relief there then anywhere else. Might even help with your Fibromyalgia

We all understand the situation, food will always be an issue.  There is one thing you must have a talk with yourself about.  You need to make a commitment to yourself to give up the junk food.  Not just until you lose the weight, but permanently.  So many of us have gone for years without the not so healthy food only to allow it to sneek back into our lives and then boom, the scale starts moving upward and seemingly is unstoppable.  Weight loss surgery is a life long commitment to yourself.  You have to be willing to make the commitment or the effects of the surgery will only be temporary.  Any procedure or doctor you choose will have the same outcome unless you make the commitment to yourself.  Don't hate yourself, love yourself enough to do the right thing.  You will always find people to support you on this board and at the meeting.  You are not alone in this fight.  Find someone to buddy up with and keep you honest with yourself.

 

Wishing you the best,

Nan

I tell myself everyday this is a commitment and we are going to do this..  So far so good.  I just have to learn to do things with the pain I have and keep moving although it is terrible.   I want to thank You and everyone else for caring enough to write to me and help me.  

THANK YOU EVERYONE.
I am going to keep on this site for help.
THANKS AGAIN!!!!

 

Doreen,

Honestly, everyone before has said it all to you already, so I won't go on to say it over again, read the responses you've gotten and make the commitment to yourself to change the things you can, because that truly is the crux of what you need to do.

Best wishes, Laureen

Hi Doreen, I am so sorry to hear about all you are going thru... I am very new to this website, as I have just made the decision to have WLS, and have just started this journey. I have my first meeting at the hospital tomorrow night to find out all I have to do to get my insurance's approval. I am researching the RNY vs Sleeve.... I think you need to see a therapist who can not only help you with your thinking, but who will respect your decision to pursue this again..... also, you may want to look into why your husband would bring home things that you shouldn't have? Does he support you in this journey? or is he secretly scared of what will happen when the dynamics of the relationship and marriage change? You deserve to know how he REALLY feels.... also, since I am trying to decide which one to pursue, can you share what happened with your daughter's surgery, and if I should beware of something that happened to her? Thank you !!

Hi, and thank you for writing to me. I talked to the new surgeon that took over my surgeon and he is amazing.  He told me things that no one else did.  He told me together, he thinks we can so this.  I have to go back to him in 3 weeks and if I do not lose anything, he will send me to a dietitian.   My husband does support me although when I had a really bad day, he brings me stuff home.  I told him not to bring that stuff home now that I started over and he said he will not.  He tells me I get mad at him if he don't bring me surprises now and then. I really did not think I did but I must have.  As far as my daughter, she had gastric bypass and the doctor made a mistake.  Her surgery took alot longer than it should have and he said everything is fine but is wasn't.  No matter what she would eat, it came up.  She could not even drink water.  She was in the hospital every week getting protein and other vitamins Thur an IV cause she was so sick and dehydrated.  This went on for months.  Finally they told her there is nothing they can do.  Well, she was losing muscle and was suffering from malnutrition.  l found a doctor in NYC that specializes in problems after gastris bypass.  I called him and he was wonderful.  Her insurance would not cover it because it was out of network. He told me what to do to get her there.  At this point she could not walk.  We had to call an ambulance to put her in a chair and get her down her front steps and get her in the car.  When we got to the hospital in NY, the doctor had a team of doctors waiting for us but we acted as if we were shopping and she got sick so we went to the ER.  She was admitted and had tons of test done to rule all kinds of things out.  After about 2-3 weeks when all test came back, he revised her surgery.  She was doing intense PT.  He made sure she was closer to home for Christmas so he set up an ambulance to bring her to PA to a therapy unit in our hospital.  she was there for a few weeks before returning home with a hospital bed and wheelchair bound.  A therapist came to her home because she could not get out of the house due to steps.  She had a potty chair so she could use the bathroom.  I took care of her 2 kids while she was in the hospital. and when she came home, I took care of her.  She went to NY Nov 7, came to our hospital Dec 22 and was there until the middle of Jan.  She missed Thanksgiving, both kids birthdays, Christmas and new years.  She was about 413 before surgery. She is now about 190 or so.  She did start drinking and I have custody of her kids and prob will until they get married and move on their own.  She is not capable of taking care of them and they do not want to live with her.  she is sober now but she still has issues not to mention a boyfriend who she does almost everything for.  Well, enough rambling.  If there is anything you would like to know, just ask.  But no my hubby is not frightened of losing me......I think he was afraid of ME!!  LOL  Talk to you soon!!!!